Beat the Drum
by Angie Kjellberg
When we start out on this journey to strengthen our marriages we usually are coming from the old script, the old way of thinking and most of that way of thinking was very negative. We talked about it, we stewed about it, we spewed it to anyone who would listen, friends, family, social media groups. We beat the drum, beat the drum, beat the drum, beat the drum... of all that was going wrong in our marriages/relationships.
Then we found a new way to think, a new way to look at our men and our relationships. We started finding positive aspects in our mates, we started deliberately looking for things to appreciate even if we had to fake it till we made it. We beat the drum, beat the drum, beat the drum, beat the drum... of all that was going RIGHT in our marriages/relationships.
When you look for things to go wrong, they always will, when you look for things to go right they ALWAYS WILL! You are standing at a fork in the road, one takes you to negative land and the other takes you to BLISS...which way do you deliberately choose to go? It's always a choice, ALWAYS!
"Why do I have to do
all the work?"
Over the years women come into our groups wondering why we have to be the ones to change our behavior first. It seems utterly unfair! BUT, we are the ones that want a different dynamic. A more peaceful relationship. Our men seem content to continue on with things the way they are. Creatures of habit. So if we're the one that wants the relationship to change, we have to be willing to do the work. When you apply the principles we teach you will see your good man rise to meet the new improved and happy You!
Self-Care
What is Self Care?
Self care is care provided “for you, by you.” It’s about identifying your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It is taking the time to do some of the activities that nurture you. Self care is about taking proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you treat others.
First Care for Yourself
On an airplane, an oxygen mask drops in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It is also one of the easiest things to forget. But you benefit greatly from self care and so do others in your life.
Why is Self Care Important for Women?
Women spend much of their lives nurturing others. When we find ourselves focusing more on others than ourselves, we become worn out, stressed out and run down. For those of us who spend time helping and caring for others, it is too easy to neglect our own needs. It’s like “running on empty” when we don’t take the time to re-fuel. We spend so much time and effort caring for our partners, children, pets, friends, family members, employers and employees. Add to that the numerous volunteer activities, errands, housework, family functions, meetings, etc.—and there isn’t much time left for caring for ourselves. Women need to balance the stress and activity of daily life with activities that bring a sense of peace and well being to their minds and bodies. Women who neglect their own needs and forget to nurture themselves often become unhappy, have low self-esteem and feel resentment. Self care means treating yourself as a worthwhile person and showing that you are valuable, competent and deserving.
What are Some Examples of Self Care Activities?
Remember, practicing self care does not have to cost much. In fact there are many things that you can do that are free or affordable.
Talk openly with a trusted friend.
Sit outside and listen to the birds.
Practice breathing exercises (the library has books to help you with this).
Make sure you are eating a well balanced diet
Get enough sleep
Make room in your life for a nap. Rest a while and “recharge”.
Make exercise a regular part of your routing (a 20 minute walk 3 times a week will do).
Take a warm bath/shower. Warm water is very soothing and relaxing for tight and tense muscles and for the mind.
Listen to music you enjoy.
Try a yoga class.
Journaling.
Read a good book recommended by a friend.
Plant a garden.
Buy yourself a little something—a flower, a candle to enjoy during your bath.
Make room in your schedule for attending a class to learn something new (pottery, a language, scrapbooking etc.)
Join Us
For more information on how to join our private chat groups
please email me HERE
or
find me on Facebook: Angie Kjellberg